🎧 Listen if you're wondering when you can make an offer, you've received one that floored you, you feel pressured to "be the reasonable one," your ex is high-conflict or controlling, or you've been told you have to go to mediation first.
⚠️ General information only, not legal advice Australian family law. Always consult a family lawyer.
🛟 Discusses coercive control & legal/financial abuse. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
"When can I make an offer?" is one of our most-asked questions. In this episode, Mum and I break down what an offer actually is, what to prepare first, and why people sabotage themselves with emotional 50/50 offers. The myth we bust: you don't have to wait for mediation, and you don't need a lawyer to write it – you can make an offer anytime once you understand your property pool. We cover time-limited, standing and Calderbank offers, how to tailor an offer to an avoidant, high-conflict, amicable or manipulative ex, and how a reasonable offer protects you on costs. Get a horrible offer? Don't react – it's still useful information.
⏱️ TIMELINE 00:00 – What Is an Offer in a Divorce? Why This Episode Matters 01:50 – What an Offer Really Is (and What Counteroffers Are) 02:30 – Do You Need a Lawyer to Make an Offer? 03:30 – Why Emotional, People-Pleasing Offers Backfire 04:30 – What You Need First: Your Property Pool 05:00 – Future Needs, Super vs Cash & Section 79 06:00 – Knowing What You're Giving Up 07:00 – Rushed & Blindsided Offers Bite You Later 08:00 – "I'll Get Back to You" — Buying Time 09:00 – Getting Out of Something Signed Under Pressure 10:30 – When Can You Make an Offer? Anytime 12:30 – Best Time to Make Your First Offer & Saving Fees 13:50 – The Mediation Myth: You Don't Have to Go 15:40 – Why People Only Get Realistic at Mediation 17:00 – Time-Limited Offers & the Downside 20:00 – Standing Offers: The Type Lyn Prefers 22:00 – Do Offers Work in Parenting & Kids Matters? 24:30 – Calderbank Offers & Section 114UB 25:50 – Offer Strategy for an Avoidant Ex 28:30 – Offer Strategy for a High-Conflict Ex 31:20 – Amicable Ex & Collaborative Law 36:20 – Offering Directly While Lawyers Are Engaged 37:00 – Making Offers to a Narcissistic Ex 39:00 – Grey Rock & Shuttle Negotiation 41:50 – What to Do When You Get a Bad Offer 42:50 – Ambit Claims & the Central Practice Direction 44:00 – Ask for the Authorities 46:30 – Consequences of Refusing a Reasonable Offer 48:50 – Genuine Steps & Costs Protection 50:00 – Why Offers Stay Hidden From the Judge 52:00 – Offers as a Silver Thread
